


there's always something you can do

by Carlain



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alya as villain and victim, Angst, Bee Miraculous, Emotional Dysregulation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Fox Miraculous, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Peacock Miraculous, Talking, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 10:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10965186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlain/pseuds/Carlain
Summary: While running from an akuma, Alya is saved by a Cat superhero with very sad green eyes.





	there's always something you can do

_Run_.

She concentrated all her might on that one action, she moved her legs quickly despite the growing fatigue. Her strides were getting shorter but she refused to stop running, she had to head forward, had to keep moving or the akuma would get her, and no one would be able to save her.

As she carefully maneuvered around objects and people on the street, Alya cursed her lack of ability to restrain herself from speaking up when not asked to. It was that rashness and cockiness what got her into trouble, and the very situation was an indisputable proof. Oh, how she hated herself sometimes.

The blogger was getting tired, her stamina had never been impressive, and she might have enough of it for the situations when she stubbornly chased after scoops, but as it turned out, she possessed too little endurance to flee when her life was on the line. Puffing with exhaustion, Alya continued running while she looked for some place to hide. She heard screams from behind, which meant the akuma was getting closer.

The akuma she had caused to appear.

Despite the fact she wasn't the one destroying the city with laser beams, she certainly felt like a villain here. Because if it wasn't for that stupid mouth of hers, Parisians wouldn't be in danger, wouldn't be crying in fright, and she wouldn't have to deal with the pulsing guilt in her chest.

The laser hit one of the buildings making the bigger part of the wall and the balcony collapse on the street, right in front of Alya, effectively blocking her way. The debris from the wall grazed her arms and face, the impact of the collision threw her off balance and she ended up falling down, landing on her arm, which she instinctively stuck out during the fall. The blogger hissed in pain, her mind, dazed from the sudden sensation, refused to function in spite of danger creeping from behind.

As she laid sprawled on the pavement she registered a shooting noise, screams of panic and someone's hand on her shoulder, lifting it in an attempt to bring her back on her feet. The touch disappeared quickly, yet it was enough for her to connect with reality. Still unable to stand, Alya looked up only to find the akuma in her line of sight. She knew she should have been scared beyond reason, yet the terror she felt could not measure to the overwhelming remorse her heart produced when she locked eyes with the newly acumatized citizen.

The girl before the blogger was dressed in a tight black suit, which had pink rectangular diodes attached to it, in places like shoulders, outside the thighs, and on the palms. Beside glowing with the hot pink light they seemed to produce laser beams. The female's gray skin contrasted with a neon-pink diamond mask that stuck out on both sides of her head, her hair as black as her outfit, was gathered into a tight bun. The akuma looked nothing like Alya's classmate who she had wronged not so long ago.

As always, Chloe had been picking up on someone, ridiculing them, making them fall apart in front of the crowd. It was when Alya had snapped. Anger dripping from her like water from the fountain, the self-imposed righteousness had driven her into action, making her speak to disrespect the blonde. She had called Chloe a villain, had compared her with Hawkmoth and even had made an off-hand suggestion about them working together. The implication had felt ridiculous even as she had voiced it, but her goal had been to get a rise from her classmate (in which she had succeeded), not to make much sense. Alya could have stopped at that, what she had said had been sufficient, but no, she had had to carry on running her mouth off.

Looking at the girl she disliked, she had felt as if some dark energy had been controlling her, making her voice those awful things, so similar to those for which she hated Chloe so much. Alya had flung at her classmate, saying that she was a horrible human being that no one in the entire school liked, that even Adrien had enough of her. What she had said was true, but uncalled for. However, she had known she had crossed the line when she had implied that Chloe's mother had foreseen what would become of her and had abandoned the young Bourgeois because of it.

Chloe's eyes had widened, filling with emotions the blogger couldn't fathom- her whole body had started to tremble. In the instant, the proud blonde had been reduced to the wiping mess on the verge of the breakdown. Even now, Alya could recall the look of sheer horror on the other girl's face, the overflowing anguish brought by something that she had been hunted by in her dreams. The memory made the blogger shiver in disgust at herself. How low had she stooped to make someone so miserable? Some defendant of justice she was.

It was a common knowledge that Chloe had been brought up by the doting father, but without a mother by her side. What happened to her was a mystery as no one seemed to know her whereabouts. The situation was exactly the same with Adrien's mom.

Alya scrambled to her feet shakily, every movement that the motion required caused her an enormous physical strain. She managed to keep her balance despite the wobbly feeling in her legs, yet she was unable to move from the spot, paralyzed with the fear that appeared when the akumatized Chloe started to strut towards the blogger. _At least some things don't change_ , Alya thought as she assessed the way the akuma walked, she let a wry chuckle escape her throat. She was going crazy, wasn't she?

Chloe approached her classmate, her face lacking the usual smirk, which was replaced with a stony, unimpressed expression. She looked like no emotion could break through her system, destroyed by pink lasers before it got a chance to reach her heart. It was the first time Alya would describe the blonde as frightening, and that thought sent shivers down her spine, blinding her mind with terror and panic.

The diodes on Chloe's suit started to glow dangerously with neon light, preparing to strike her enemy down, and end the reason of her current misery. She seemed unresponsive, almost as if she was on autopilot, not perceiving what was happening to her. Alya felt a pang of even more guilt but complied with the sudden urge to check whether her classmate was still in touch with reality or had completely lost it.

"Wow Chloe, if all it takes to shut you up permanently is to insult you, I would have done that during our first meeting." the blogger almost immediately regretted the words that left her mouth, cursing soundlessly her sassy nature.

 _Congrats Alya, that's such an appropriate reaction to a potentially mortal situation such as this one_ , she reprimanded herself, panic returning in a flash, _You really know how to make your future look brighter._

Despite her obvious folly, Chloe still looked hardly impressed, she just stood there, blocking blogger's way, the diodes on her suit charging with energy, which heat Alya could feel on her skin. She frowned, averted her gaze, preparing for a deadly blow to come her way and then -

She was flying.

In an instant the dangerous warmth of the diodes on her cheeks was replaced with a coolness of the wind, making her gasp at the sudden change of temperature. Alya stared dumbfounded at the ground that was getting farther and farther from her, alongside Chloe, who became small like an ant.

When the first shock subsided the blogger became aware of a strong arm around her waist, and she looked up to see who was carrying her weight. Her savior turned out to be Cat Noir, who was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, supporting himself with his staff, his grip around her body firm. Alya limited herself to gaping at him as she felt a little queasy from the upside-down motion and dizzy from the hurting in her limbs. She just let the hero carry her somewhere safe while she fell into a half-delirious state - the result of an adrenaline and throbbing pain. A soft giggle, which she didn't register, escaped her mouth. In the past she would have been overflowing with happiness in the similar situation, probably filming the whole happening.

Cat Noir moved swiftly, maneuvering through Paris's streets and alleys with ease, he avoided more crowded places, choosing the route that led them away from people's eyes. He ran so quickly that Alya's mind could hardly keep up with the travel, and soon enough he stopped near the outskirts of the city. He put the blogger down, making sure she wouldn't fall down, he peered at her face and seeing her blink at him, he snapped his fingers and waved his hand before her eyes.

The gesture worked like magic. Alya regained her focus, offering a small smile to her savior even though the pain in her arm became more vivid and noticeable. "Hi!" she said, her voice coming out a little too high and crazed.

"Are you alright?" Cat Noir asked, his brow arching in question.

"Could have been better, but seeing as I am still in one piece -" she shrugged, glad not to had taken more damage.

The superhero regarded the blogger carefully, studying her, his green eyes examining her with such intensity she wanted to look away, hide from this piercing gaze that made her uncomfortable. She withstood it, staring right back, she didn't dare to flinch, refusing to surrender to the rush of unwelcome feelings his look was causing to appear.

He averted his gaze first. When he did Alya caught a glimpse of something lurking deep inside his eyes, something dark and gray and bitter, something he could hardly keep out of.

"Stay here and try not to attract any attention to yourself. I'm going after akuma." Cat Noir announced curtly, not looking at the blogger. He made a gesture of a half-hearted salute and would have been on his way if Alya hadn't caught him by the arm.

Her body moved to grab him before she could think her action through. It was an instinctive reaction to what she saw in his eyes: sadness. An overwhelming, clenching sadness, the same she used to see in Adrien's expression when they still could meet with him. Her heart broke having witnessed the similar emotion on the face of the hero idolized by her.

"You can't go!" She exclaimed loudly. She squeezed his arm tighter as if afraid he would disappear before she could chase away the sorrow behind his eyes. "It hasn't even been an hour since the akumatization! You don't stand a chance alone!"

It was a superhero's job to fight villains even if the situation was helpless and Alya was very aware of that - had the times been different she would have rushed him into action herself. But now that akumas were so much stronger than before, Paris's heroes were unable to defeat them right after the akumatization.

Alya didn't know why she stopped Cat Noir from chasing after Chloe. Was she concerned about his wellbeing, or was it her noisiness taking the lead? No matter the motive, she was already fully focused on this uncharacteristic sadness in superhero's eyes.

 _It doesn't suit him_ , she decided silently, recalling his usual happy demeanor, his tendency to show off and joke around in face of danger. She missed the old Cat Noir, whose smile brightened up the whole city even on darkest days. _Why there is so much sorrow in his eyes?_

He stood perfectly still, not attempting to free his arm from Alya's grasp, he stared silently into the distance. "I can't let her destroy the city." He answered shortly like it was as simple as that, but the blogger could feel his body tensing, fighting off emotions inside him. "Let go." He commanded quietly, his voice unusually stern.

It was Alya turn to stiffen, his tone a reminder of something heavy from the past. In her mind flashed the scenes of angry shouting, of crystal blue eyes filled with disappointment and fury, of a bursting ache. She felt the memories come to life, sending pain through her veins into her very soul. She started to tremble but her grip on his arm didn't loosen but became even more firm. _Don't turn your back on me. Not you too._

"Who will save the city if you go down?" said Alya, her tone challenging, daring him to oppose her. "Reckless charging into action is not synonymous with courage! It's called stupidity!" she spat angrily but her words almost weren't directed at him.

Cat Noir looked at her, irritation visible in his expression. His eyes seemed to scream: Like you're the one to talk, but he remained stubbornly silent. He was avoiding the confrontation.

"The akuma is after me..." Alya admitted softly, the anger already gone. "At least-" her voice suddenly was caught in her throat and came out shakily. "Stay with me until other heroes arrive, please?" she asked hesitantly, afraid of his answer.

The hero in black shook her hand off a little too roughly, but not violently enough to hurt her, he walked a few steps away and when Alya thought he would run, not turning back to spare her a glance, he sat down, leaning his back against the building. Despite his posture, he was on the lookout for incoming danger. The blogger blinked to confirm that he was still there, she approached him carefully and after a brief moment of hesitation she sat down next to Cat Noir, making sure to leave some space between them.

The silence that fallen next was heavy and uncomfortable, threatening to torment their tired nerves. Alya hid her head in her hands, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and exhausted. All her misdeeds and faults flooded her consciousness at once, breaking the gate to the negative emotions, setting them free on the rampage.

The blogger felt the tears behind her eyelids but she fought them off. She didn't have problems with expressing her emotions, always letting them manifest freely on her face or through her body language. If there was one thing she was not good at, however, it would be showing sadness to others. She hated when people saw her at her most vulnerable, hated when they witnessed her tears. It made her feel like they gained the upper hand in the relationship like they could control her through her own weakness. So even now, she swallowed the sorrow and salty tears, fighting to keep her composure.

The silence was broken by Cat Noir's quiet voice. "I'm sorry."

Alya looked up at him in confusion. There was nothing for him to apologize for. He hadn't done anything wrong, and he even had saved her from the evaporation or the hole in her belly. Whichever it was, the blogger felt glad she hadn't had a chance to find out.

"I know there's nothing I can do to stop the akuma by myself, but it's so much more unbearable because I am aware of that." the hero continued a little unsure if confiding in the blogger was the right decision. "I just feel like a failure..." he laughed wryly, almost in pity for himself.

He barely finished the sentenced when Alya rapidly grabbed his shoulders, shaking him roughly, the intensity of her expression taking Cat Noir by surprise. She spluttered on her words, overwhelmed by the sudden wave of anger, not being able to understand how one could go about such nonsense.

"How can you say something so ridiculous?! I can't believe you!" She shouted completely agitated, peering at the hero with confusion and disbelief. She let go of him, shook her head and began to stab him in the chest with her finger. "You listen to me carefully, Kitty: you have absolutely no right to depreciate yourself! You have been blessed with amazing powers that allow you to save people! And I am not talking only about your destructive magic, or martial arts skills, I'm talking about your bright personality, your ability to make others laugh - those are the powers you can't just make magically appear! They come from your heart, from your kindness and cheerfulness, and you can't fake that. Did you see the comments that used to appear on the videos of your interviews? They were always so positive, praising you for lifting everyone's spirits with a single comment or smile! It's an ability unique to you, something even Ladybug is unable to do! How many people have you saved? How many of them have you helped through difficult times? You are the hero of this city so don't you ever dare to degrade yourself, you hear me?!" Alya finished her tirade with a trembling voice, barely managing to breathe between her angry screams.

As her shouts faded into the background, the only sound that could be heard was her shaking breath and Alya found herself calming down, just a little embarrassed from her outburst.

Cat Noir kept staring at the blogger, his mouth hung open, his posture stiff, and mirroring his tensed surprise. He couldn't find the words to respond to the girl's fiery exclamation. She had struck him speechless.

The superhero couldn't decide what emotion was currently predominating inside his chest. He was torn between embarrassment, confusion, negation and joy. He was at loss for what to feel.

He reached out to place his hand atop of hers. It was a simple gesture, a butterfly touch, yet it was the most meaningful interaction they had ever shared, the easiest way to convey what words couldn't in that moment.

Finally finding his voice, Cat Noir spoke up, "Hearing you say that - I can't even explain what it means to me." He offered her a small but genuine smile, retreating his hand from blogger's personal space. Her palm suddenly felt cold.

"I don't have any desire to fight evil on my own, or to be adored by the crowds." the hero started to explain his thoughts, a little abashed. "I just wish I had enough power to save people, without worrying that there will be someone who I won't be able to help. Hawkmoth is getting stronger with every minute, and even though there're four of us, we can't do much against him. You must have noticed that Miraculous Ladybug cannot fix everything as it used to. Not all the damage can be alleviated and I can't help but think: what if someone died? We wouldn't be able to save them." he looked into the sky, sorrow in his eyes more evident than before. "I guess... I am scared of that."

Alya could feel a lump forming in her throat, her breath became rapid and shallow. As always she had acted on impulse, letting her emotions get the better of her. Why had she had to jump on Cat Noir without hearing him out? Her motives might have been noble but she had opened up her mouth too soon, too ready to judge. The bitter taste of shame and guilt on her tongue would linger for a long time after today.

The fear that Cat Noir felt was justified, but Alya decided she hated this vulnerability on hero's face. However, she understood where this anxiety was coming from - not being able to stand up to Hawkmoth despite the powers he had been entrusted with must have been much harder on him than the same feeling of helplessness experienced by a regular citizen. Who needed a hero that couldn't save people?

The first signs of change had turned up about six moths ago, but at that time no could have anticipated the enormity of what had been yet to come. However, it had quickly become obvious that Hawkmoth had started growing stronger - his akumas had been more powerful, more difficult to defeat, and more devoted to their master than ever. And soon the havoc they created had become too much to handle for civilians and heroes alike.

Hawkmoth's growth in strength had coincided with the appearance of a peacock miraculous holder. Alya still remembered the excitement she had felt then, remembered the pride of being a hero reflected in those gorgeous golden eyes, which were hidden behind the colorful ornamental mask, the grace in his movements and his melodious voice. He had made her heart sing.

Sadly, the time of his debut had been most unfortunate as the public associated his arrival with Hawkmoth's growing in power, and the peacock superhero had been blamed for it. Paris's citizens had witnessed what it meant to be stricken with terror, had understood what blind fear looked like. And the emotions they hadn't known how to deal with had been directed at someone who had been accessible and easy to mistreat.

Nothing seemed to be able to erase the unfounded bad reputation he had acquired - neither his bravery, or his self-sacrificing actions to save people, nor the support from Ladybug and Cat Noir. The public had written him off as the worst superhero in history.

He rarely appeared after that, only suiting up when the other defendants couldn't handle the akuma, sometimes not even doing that. The Paris had destroyed its own hero, had thrown his help into his face, leaving itself vulnerable to potential danger.

This grave mistake had reverberated soon enough when Hawkmoth had akumatized two people at the same time. On their own, they had proved to be weaker than previous akumas, but together they had been able to tear the half of the city down. That incident had been stuck in everyone's mind for a long period, a bitter reminder of their own faults.

The ray of hope that had appeared on the horizon, along with two new superheroes, had been short-lived. Despite the wave of fresh air and high expectations that bee and fox miraculous holder had brought with them, Hawkmoth hadn't left Parisians with any illusion - his akumas had continued to become stronger and stronger, and when the same person that had already been acumatized, had fallen under his control again - their power tripled.

Despite the obvious misery the Paris had found itself in, there was still hope. The moth villain's powers had their deficiencies: his akumas were almost invincible but the longer the acumatization lasted, the weaker their bodies got, unable to hold so much magic inside them. It took roughly one hour for them to loose enough power to enter a fair fight with the four superheroes.

But the lone hero could not do much on their own.

Unconsciously, Alya diminished the distance between her and Cat Noir. She moved closer to him but left just enough space for them to feel comfortable. She offered a small smile, encouraging him to continue.

He hesitated just for a second before letting himself disclose what else was poisoning his mind. "According to what my kwami says, this enormous difference in power between us and Hawkmoth is caused by the evolution of his Miraculous. While the Moth Miraculous had always been the first to evolve, the others followed suit right after it, balancing the energy that connects them. Honestly, I don't really understand what it means, I'm just quoting my kwami." he laughed softly and carried on, not realizing that Alya had no idea what kwami was.

And boy, did she wanted to know, but she bit her tongue, not allowing herself to speak and instead she let the troubled superhero talk freely.

"For some reason, our Miraculouses failed to evolve and that's what bothers me the most." Cat Noir frowned and pursed his lips in a funny manner - a definition of worry and confusion. "My kwami refuses to tell me why. He just makes dismissive comments and eats more stinky Camembert. He ignores all my questions and keeps treating me like some clueless child!" he growled in exasperation, and the sound startled the blogger slightly. His voice suddenly changed again, to an almost inaudible sad whisper. "And somehow I feel like it's my fault. I know it sounds unreasonable but the first time I asked him about it, he looked at me strangely like he was calculating whether I could handle the truth..." he trailed off.

 _And he decided I couldn't_ , his eyes seemed to say and Alya felt her heart shatter into million pieces.

Heartbreak had a form of devastated green eyes.

"What makes it even worse is that Ladybug and others seem to know why our Miraculouses don't evolve. Guess what? They act exactly like my kwami, and when I ask them about it, they just shrug it off. Do they think I can't see the pity in their expressions?"

Alya had been completely focused on every word that left Cat Noir's mouth, but his eyes had held her attention just as much. Those deep green eyes hid so much sadness and anger, so many arbitrary and colliding emotions, and seemed to be drawing her in, swallowing her whole being, making her think only about them. She wanted to banish the sorrow and restore the light within them. But was there anything she could do to help him?

"I have no idea why they would act like that, but I can tell you one thing: do not assume." said the blogger after a brief moment of silence. "Trust me, I learned the hard way just how stupid it is to assume something without evidence. It's embarrassing for everyone."

"Then what do you think I should do?" Cat Noir looked at Alya expectingly. His ears were slumped and he reminded the teenager of a lost kitten looking for guidance.

Alya wasn't sure what to say to him. She had no idea how superhero communication problems should have been solved, but she knew she couldn't just leave him hanging.

"An honest conversation may be a good idea." she suggested "Tell them how you feel, tell them how this situation affects you. They are your partners and sharing your emotions with them should only tighten your bond and trust."

Cat Noir let out a wry chuckle, "It's not as easy as you make it sound. Talking to them about my feelings is a little embarrassing. Actually, it's very embarrassing."

"But you've told me about them, no?"

"Somehow... talking to you is easy." he admitted, just slightly abashed.

Alya raised a brow at his statement, genuinely confused. "Even though I have a big mouth and could make a post about your worries for a whole Paris to see?"

The superhero laughed, and it was the most beautiful sound the girl had heard recently - it was deep but light and almost, almost free of tension. It was a sincere laughter that bubbled in his throat adorably, quickly crashing to a halt. The smile on his face, however, didn't reach his eyes fully.

"Well, at least people would have a good laugh. Imagine the headlines: "Cat Noir, the most eligible bachelor in France, is, in fact, an emotionally-wrecked softie.""

"Whoa whoa!" Alya exclaimed in mock surprise "Since when you're 'the most eligible bachelor in France'? No one would call you that!"

"You're correct. 'The most eligible bachelor in the world' sounds about right" the hero grinned at the blogger who rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove.

"Conceited much, are we?"

He leaned closer to Alya, their foreheads almost touching, "I don't hear you disagreeing..." he purred, and the blogger could swear that his voice became lower, deeper. Suddenly she felt very warm and dizzy. "Admit it: you do think I'm attractive."

Alya's brain witnessed a brief malfunction, while her pulse sped up, galloping as if her heart wanted to break out of her chest. Unidentified emotions started to swarm inside her dangerously, clinging like bees to honey. She didn't know what or why she felt this way but she was aware of Cat's attempt to digress from the topic. She decided to play along with it. Besides, she couldn't really disagree with his statement, but she'd be damned before she admitted it.

"Sure, but Ladybug is way hotter." she said shrugging, trying very hard to sound unimpressed. She almost succeeded.

Cat Noir blinked at her, not expecting such an answer in the slightest. He wore an expression of a ridiculous bewilderment but it quickly morphed into a crooked grin.

"No one can compete with My Lady in terms of attractiveness." he said seriously, crossing his arms over his chest. He nodded at his own comment with a dignified look of a scientist addressing an issue of utmost importance.

"So true. She's too good, too gorgeous for petty mortals as ourselves." Alya mimicked hero's actions and they sat together nodding at each other in agreement.

The jingle of an incoming call that came from Cat's staff, startled both of them. The superhero answered it quickly but almost dropped his weapon in the hurry. He smiled sheepishly at Alya and pressed the button to take the call.

"Cat Noir, where are you?" the Ladybug's voice filled the silence like a joyful melody dripping from the piano. It was the most comforting sound. "The akuma is still too strong for us and seems to be looking for someone. She generally ignores us, but doesn't hesitate to blast us with those nasty lasers when we start getting in her way." she informed her fellow superhero about the situation. "The good news is she doesn't want to destroy the city, just that one person she's on the lookout for, and we can work with that."

"Actually, this person is with me right now."

"Great, it makes our job easier! Please keep them safe! Wasp and Zerda are following the akuma, if anything happens -contact them."

"What about you, My Lady?"

"I'm staying behind to help people trapped under the debris. I'll join you when I'm done."

"Copy that. Stay safe, My Lady!" Cat Noir's whisper was full of worry.

There was a brief pause before Ladybug answered softly, "You too, Kitty." She ended the call and the black superhero turned his attention to Alya.

She peered at his troubled face and felt the worry rise in her. He was such a kind and caring person, always concerned about those he loved. He didn't get enough credit for what he was worth.

"Guess I'm stuck with you for a little longer." she said with mock dissatisfaction, sighing dramatically.

"I think I should be the one saying that!" Cat Noir sniggered in disbelief. He flicked her forehead and she laughed, slapping his shoulder lightly in retaliation.

The silence fell over them once again but this time it was comfortable, almost calming - the type of silence that let sort out feelings and thoughts. It would have been peaceful if it wasn't for the tense anticipation hanging in the air.

The longer they weren't speaking the more antsy Alya became. She wanted to break the silence, wanted to talk to the hero but he seemed to finally relax a little, and she decided to let him sit in peace for a while.

Cat Noir confiding in her, stirred a whirlpool of different emotions in the blogger. She felt like she needed to talk to him, to return a gesture of trust he had displayed, she wanted to let him inside her mind if just a bit.

"You know..." she heard the words escape her mouth before she could stop them. But it was too late to back down now, as she had caught hero's attention - she had to voice her thoughts. "Lately, I have been feeling kind of down too. Everyone has. All those changes affect every single person in Paris. My class is the perfect example: we spat with one another a lot, we scream and insult and our arguments seem to last forever. It never used to happen before."

Miss Bustier had been wringing her hands at their behaviour, not once brought at the verge of tears from the frustration of not being able to unite her class again. Their wonderful teacher deserved better than that, they were aware of it but as teenagers with emotional dysregulation, they couldn't do much about their fears.

"My closest friends are acting differently too. My best friend is constantly exhausted, there're bags under her eyes, she looks emotionally and physically drained. "Alya's voice caught up in her throat, "She is a very sensitive person and probably doesn't cope well with those arguments in class and keeps worrying about everyone in Paris. She's just too kind." The blogger smiled sadly but the affection in her expression was evident. "And there's Nino, who becomes sadder and more depressed. The spark always present in his eyes is no longer there, he almost doesn't smile anymore. He's been so withdrawn lately."

"He -" Cat Noir voice was shaky, strained and anxious. He swallowed hard. "Is it so bad with him?"

Alya hesitated but shook her head. "It got worse when our friend Adrien was forced to be homeschooled again. His father's paranoid and because of all the commotion with akumas he decided to trap his own son in the house to 'protect him'. Although I cannot blame him for wanting to protect his child... "she rubbed her eyes, feeling tired all of sudden. "At first, our class was allowed to visit Adrien two times a week, and Nino as his best friend could come every day. Soon we were forbidden from seeing him and even Nino was no longer welcome in his house. It affected him so much." the blogger was so immersed in her story that she didn't notice a single tear falling down her cheek.

Cat Noir pretended he didn't see anything.

"I and our classmate - Rose - try very hard to cheer him up; to take his mind off his best friend and troubles he refuses the to share with us. I think he has been doing better since Nathaniel and Ivan took him to a concert. They became fast friends."

The black superhero relaxed visibly, relief washing over him like rain. If Nino was getting better, he didn't need anything more - he was glad for his best friend.

He looked at Alya curiously. He wanted to know something but was a little wary of asking. He took a deep breath and said: "What about this other boy? Adrien? Are you... worried about him?"

The blogger glanced at Cat Noir, almost in disbelief, "Of course I'm worried about him. He was my classmate and is a great, joyful person. I just wish I had become his friend when he was still attending our school." She sighed, regretful. "I wrote him a few messages but he didn't reply. Maybe his father took his phone away..." she trailed off noticing a smile on his face.

"What?" she exclaimed, mortified. Why was he grinning like an idiot? "What are you smiling for? I didn't say anything funny!"

His smile grew bigger, "I just thought you are amazing. You care a lot about people."

Alya was taken aback by his statement, she snorted to hide her embarrassment and fell silent, too discomfited to continue talking.

"What about you?" Cat Noir asked in a neutral tone, after a moment.

"What about me?"

"You've told me about your friends, but didn't say much about your own feelings." he gazed into her eyes, the green met hazel and the colors around them started to blend together into a blurry canvas. Alya could hardly breathe.

"I.... I think I am confused." she said, lowering her gaze. _Mostly about my feelings right now_. "I'm not scared, but discouraged by all the bad things that happened. This negativity is killing me. It brings out the worst traits in people and in me... I keep running my mouth off and acting irresponsibly. I can't even relieve my stress by writing on the Ladyblog and it feels like I lost another important thing to me."

"Why haven't you posted anything on your blog for a few months?"

Alya pursed her mouth into 'o' letter, completely surprised. "How do you know that?"

"I may or may not be one your followers. You can't prove anything!" Cat Noir wanted to mask his embarrassment but squeaked instead, making a sound so unlike himself that the blogger couldn't hold back a wave of laughter. It shook her whole body, throwing her head back. She could feel it in her lungs clearly, she felt it steal her breath away but the burning sensation didn't prevent her from laughing on.

The sound of her giggles was contagious and was soon joined in by Cat's own chuckle. They kept laughing until they couldn't breathe anymore.

"No, but seriously." the superhero said between his fits of laughter, struggling to catch his breath. "Why did you stop writing on your blog?"

Alya stopped laughing in an instant as if she was struck by lightning. She looked at him sheepishly, feeling very self-conscious. "Because I am stupid and Ladybug hates me now."

Cat Noir raised his eyebrow, expressing his doubt. Lady Luck wasn't someone who bore a grudge against others.

The blogger's face flushed, "I don't want to talk about it." she whispered.

A few months ago Alya had carelessly rushed into an akuma fight and almost had got crushed by a car. Ladybug had saved her but her face had been a reflection of white fury. She had shouted at the blogger and had forbidden her from coming to the fighting scene ever again. Alya had never experienced such a shock or an emotional pain before, like the disappointment and anger in Ladybug's beautiful blue eyes had caused her.

The feeling of self-hatred had plunged deep into the blogger's heart, nesting with strong roots, devouring her happiness from within. Being a cause of Ladybug's fury was like taking a punch: the pain pulsed until the numbness overtook the reign. It was simply unbearable.

When the heroine had turned her back and walked away from Alya, the teenager had felt as if Ladybug had been leaving her life permanently, like she would have been left behind. All alone, accompanied by her own black disappointment.

"She gave you 'The Look', didn't she?" said Cat Noir knowingly, like it explained everything. When all Alya did was stare at him blankly, he chuckled softly. " 'The Look' is our team's official name for one of Ladybug's expressions. It's full of angry disappointment and is deadly. She should be able to defeat akumas with just that."

He laughed a little but seeing Alya's unimpressed stare he stopped to explain further.

"She doesn't hate you." he insisted patiently. "Trust me. I have been at the receiving end of that look so many times that my nine lives shouldn't be enough to keep me alive. And Ladybug still tolerates me." he smiled and squeezed her shoulder lightly. They seemed to be touching a lot that day. "I think." he added after a second of reconsideration.

Alya mouthed 'thank you', but was too busy fighting tears off to respond vocally. Cat Noir just kept smiling at her with a somewhat fond look in his eyes.

The screams that could be heard from nearby caught their attention. The next thing they saw were people running in panic, tripping over their own limbs. Cat Noir got to his feet rapidly, ready to jump into action at any time. He stood before Alya, shielding her from any potential danger.

"I fricking finally found you!" came the voice from above and soon the Bee Miraculous holder landed before them. She removed the pair of goggles from her eyes and glared at her fellow superhero intently. "You're a fricking cat, not a chameleon, why are you so difficult to locate?"

The bee hero was a tiny but fiery woman, emanating with confidence and wit. She had short, pinkish hair held in place with a yellow bandana, and her face was usually hidden not only behind a mask but also by big, oval goggles. To make her appearance even cooler, she got small wings on her back that allowed her to travel with amazing speed.

Despite being the owner of a Bee Miraculous, she had chosen to go by the name 'Wasp' - probably to break with any conventions. Alya really liked her style.

"You could have called me for example?" Cat Noir snorted but not without a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Our communication system broke after Ladybug called you." The fox superhero appeared suddenly, interjecting before his companion could blow up at Cat Miraculous holder. He assessed the scene carefully with his keen turquoise eyes.

He seemed to be a polar opposite of Wasp, as he rarely showed any emotions, always calculating, creating multiple scenarios in his head. Not many were aware that he also had a mischievous side to him, but Alya was among the few chosen ones. He could be just as intense as the red color of his longish hair.

"The akuma is coming." Zerda informed calmly, brushing the fringe away from his eyes. "It's better if she isn't here." he said pointing at Alya.

Cat Noir caught on quickly, he offered blogger his hand, "Miss Reporter, we need to be on our way. The Evil Godmother is near."

Alya grabbed his hand and he lifted her to carry her bridal style. He nodded at the other superheroes and dashed away, holding the blogger tightly.

"Don't you dare drop her, Garfield!" They heard Wasp shout after them, and Alya couldn't help but giggle at Cat's huffing.

They raced across the streets, feeling the gust of the wind on their faces. Cat Noir followed the directions the blogger gave him and it wasn't long until they reached the Cesaire household. The superhero put the teenager down carefully.

"Thank you for using the 'Bad Luck' airline services. We hope you enjoyed your travel as reclamations are not being accepted." he bowed in an exaggerated way and smiled. This time it reached his eyes. The sadness was still there, but a ray of humor threatened to make itself known again.

Before Alya lost courage or could think her actions through, she reached out and hugged Cat Noir. They were not close, and before today they had never spent so much time together, but the blogger felt she needed to hug him, even though there was a possibility of him pulling away.

He didn't. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her a little closer to his body. It was an innocent but honest and much-needed display of affection. They both felt that their relation had changed. How - they weren't sure, but there was no denying the mutual liking and growing understanding.

When they pulled away from the embrace, Cat Noir squeezed her hands to let her know he appreciated the gesture. "We're going to defeat the akuma, so don't worry and get some rest." he said with conviction.

Even after he went to help the other superheroes, Alya stood before her house for a while, staring off into the distance where he disappeared. She experienced an unusual state of complete pensiveness as she tried to sort her feelings out. This strange tickling in the pit of her stomach was driving her crazy but she couldn't identify it.

Or maybe she didn't want to look too much into it. Acknowledging her feelings would mean a change, for which she wasn't ready yet. Maybe in the near future, but not yet.

When she entered her room she collapsed on her bed, the exhaustion from today's events flooding her at once. The throbbing pain in her arm appeared again, no longer muffled by the adrenaline or Cat's presence. Groaning into her pillow she rolled onto her back and stared mindlessly at the ceiling.

She didn't know how much time had passed as she laid in silence. A few minutes? Hours maybe?

Her arm wasn't hurting anymore but it still felt sore and a little numb. The Miraculous Ladybug charm must have fixed most of the damage when she was dozing off. It meant the akuma had been defeated. Chloe was back to normal.

Alya got up and looked through her window hoping against hope to see the superhero in black. She shook her head at her ridiculous desire but smiled brightly. She felt optimistic. As long as Paris had such brave and kind defendants like Cat Noir and Ladybug, there was nothing to be afraid of. Hawkmoth didn't stand a chance even with so much power he possessed.

Feeling a new surge of energy, Alya turned her computer on, a clear idea forming in her head already. She was going to revive her blog. This time, however, she wasn't planning on uploading videos from fights, as her goal was to lift everyone's spirits, not seek attention. She would post daily motivational texts, encouraging people to fight on with hope in their hearts and smiles on their faces. She would remind civilians and heroes alike that strength came from struggles and they had been striving long enough. It was time to face their own weaknesses and show the world that they had courage inside them to live happily despite the obstacles in the form of evil butterflies.

She would not give up. She would become another ray of light in the sea of despair. And one day, one day she would chase this sorrow away from _his_ eyes. She was sure of it. In the end, there was always something a single person could do to make things better.

She would make everything better, starting from tomorrow when she would apologize to Chloe for everything she had said to hurt her. Even the blonde deserved such a gesture, and Alya would be sure to recompense for all her mistakes.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her cell phone. The blogger checked the message she got and gasped in surprise. It was a text from Adrien.

It wasn't much, really. Just a short apology for not having kept in touch and a question how was she doing. No excuses, no complaints, no long elaborations. Yet it was enough for Alya to know that her classmate still remembered her.

The blogger smiled, the happiness she felt was forcing out the doubt, anger, and sorrow from her heart. As she replied to Adrien's message, Alya couldn't help but think that everything was going to change for the better.

**Author's Note:**

> "It's going to be short" I told myself once. Tough luck. 
> 
> I really hope you're going to enjoy this story. Tell me what you think, okay? (Who are the other Miraculous Holders I wonder...)
> 
> Also, beware of any mistakes, for which I am sorry.
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a great day!


End file.
